Today is an Angry day, Why in particular, I cant tell you, because well I just dont know.
Some days I will wake up fine, others wanting to launch a nuclear war on those who speak to me.
Nothing happened to set me off, but when I get into that mind set everything I can possibly think back on that has really been significant that has made me angry boils right back to the top again .
Its some times hard to be in my head, I hear logic and Reason v.s. Impulse and Stupidity. most of the time the impulse and stupidity win over logic and reason.
The hard part is, knowing exactly the measures I need to take but completely ignoring them.
I want to feel human and not suppressed. I feel that suppressing myself keeps tension low amongst others, but really eats away at me.
The last 18 months have been a test of Reason and stupidity.
I cant explain my actions, I dont understand them myself.
I can only hope something is still holding on at the end when I figure this out.
I think ill need a hand up.
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