Angry, Sleepy, Doppy, Grumpy

Today is an Angry day, Why in particular, I cant tell you, because well I just dont know.

Some days I will wake up fine, others wanting to launch a nuclear war on those who speak to me.

Nothing happened to set me off, but when I get into that mind set everything I can possibly think back on that has really been significant that has made me angry boils right back to the top again .

Its some times hard to be in my head, I hear logic and Reason v.s. Impulse and Stupidity. most of the time the impulse and stupidity win over logic and reason.
The hard part is, knowing exactly the measures I need to take but completely ignoring them.

I want to feel human and not suppressed. I feel that suppressing myself keeps tension low amongst others, but really eats away at me.

The last 18 months have been a test of Reason and stupidity.
I cant explain my actions, I dont understand them myself.

I can only hope something is still holding on at the end when I figure this out.
I think ill need a hand up.

Only so far you can go

Gonna do the best I can being me,
I wont hold back what I feel, ill tell you
when Ive had it, or when I just need you there.

You cant understand the change,
its been hard for me too, but the change
was in me, and with out you.

We both went on, some quicker
than others, but I know I tried.
My part, my role, my love all in the past.
Dead on a whim.

I will rebuild, I will be stronger,
Better yet I will be better.
You will know it when I am there.

I only have forward to go,
to the future and beyond.
Ill be standing there,
even after you have moved on.

Where I stand is not a cry for you,
but a monument of who could still stand tall.
I am not broken, I am bruised.

You haven't broken me yet!

Just has to happen

Its been a few days, Things have been crazy, I went to Las Vegas for the first time, accepted an award on behalf of the company. Went to the coolest convention I have ever been to. met some really cool people along the way. Then reality kicked in.

We are back from Vegas, the party stops, the work begins.
I can say that I was ready to come back and get to work again.
Spending time on shows and now in the shop.

I need to get use to a schedule again, but tomorrow is a show day. Lauren Hill at UM.
It is a set up and hand over gig so I can kick back and just enjoy it.

There is a Huge show we have been prepping for a few days, Miguel Bose from Spain.
Will be at the Knight Center in Miami, and Beach Sound is the lighting support for this show. Its is going to be a visually stunning show from what I have seen on youtube. The video content alone is enough to make you say wow.

Season is in full swing, cant wait to see what is coming.

I will keep you posted.

as always

Love, Peace and Chicken Grease.